The Good Moments

Wednesday nights are not exactly the hottest for 50 Mason, San Francisco's boutique comedy club. But with a beer and wine license, the club is finally getting traction.

I showed up half-expecting the show to get cancelled because of a small audience. It has happened before and in fact even the big professional clubs have a difficult time running comedy on Wednesdays.

I had several pleasant surprises:

First I got nominated the headliner,

Second people showed up to see the show despite the rain,

Finally I had one of my best headline sets in a long time.

It is an amazing feeling to be in front of an audience and to hear them laugh and appreciate your humor.

That is why I still do it.

The San Francisco Punch Line

The backbone of the San Francisco comedy scene is formed of little bars and cafes that host showcases and open mics. Hosted by stalwarts such as Tony Sparks, these are the places where new comics break their teeth and the oldtimers still show up.

But the backbone only exists to support the head which is the Punch Line comedy club. The Punch Line is not the biggest club in the Bay Area, Cobb's in the city is bigger, and the Improv in San Jose is huge by comparison. Still the Punch Line is where the comics strive to make their mark. The comedy industry reputedly only visits the Punch Line in the local area to look for talent and for that very reason comics will bend over forwards, backwards, and even sideways to make it here.

Unlike other clubs which rely upon your ability to "bring" an audience before they book you, the Punch line has a mind-numbingly simple process. Hang out for 10 months as an audience member on Sundays and they will put you on the Sunday showcase. In a few more months you can get on again, and then again, until the frequency increases and in a few years you can become a regular performer.

My first time "hanging out" at the Punch Line was horrible because of my own negative projections. The comics seemed subdued and almost too scared and deferential of the room booker. I left and did not return for several months until a couple of weeks ago.

Now I look at the Punch Line differently. It is one of the hubs of the San Francisco comedy community. The Sunday showcase ends with the comics schmoozing, a few getting drunk, and high. Over time they build bonds and start getting booked on the showcase. I realize that you do not have to be very funny to work the Punch Line, but you need to have put in the time and joined the community.

The question for me is: Will I put in the time?

They Sunnyvale Show

I have had some big shows in the last few months. Last Thursday I was on the bill with some big-name comics at a nightclub in Sunnyvale called the Quarternote. Located in a shopping center surrounded by Indian restaurants and stores, it seemed bizarrely out of place. Outside you might as well have been in India. Indeed in the restaurant next door, I bought an Indian meal for all of $1.99. Then you walk into the Quarternote and suddenly you are back in middle-America. The walls of the Quarternote are lined with decorative skeletons, the stage is high and setup for music.

That night the comedy audience was sparse but still better than my comedy workout the night before at a cafe where I performed to 2 people. The host was this awesome comic who has been around the block and knew what he was doing. The sparse crowd had one drunk woman really wanting to talk to the comics and another drunk guy who spoke loudly throughout the show.

When I got on, the drunk woman wanted to keep talking to me and I had to ignore her to move forward with my set. Then the drunk guy starts talking to his buddy loud enough to cut over the microphone.

Still, I managed a decent set and got paid for it. The next day I used the money to pay for laundry service. Over the last two weeks I have been making some money from comedy. Nothing to put in the bank, but enough to pay for an expense here and there.

Dilemma basics

Everyone does it. Corporate Executives do it for money, Politicians do it for power, and Artists do it....for free. Communicate that is. Blogging exists, so we can express our dirty laundry, because out in this whole-wide bit universe there might be someone who wants to read, hear, watch what we gotta say.

It's ego-gratification. Why else would we sit down and write and post it on the Web? The same is true for standup comedy and for other performance art. As a standup comic, I perform in bars, cafes, restaurants so I can get attention and get validated in my existence. For bigger shows, I get paid paltry sums. Contrary to public opinion, there is no sex or drugs that follow, at least not for free that is! Besides I am married with a kid. We married people don't do such things. Just look at Bill Clinton. He didn't have sex, depending on what the meaning of the word "is" is.

Here's an excerpt from the depressing world of ShowBiz:

Here's me talking informally to the audience after a big show, when the show host interrupts:

ME: blah-blah-blah
HOST: Hey good show. The previous host used to pay 20 bucks for the performance, but I don't do that.

Suddenly there is uncomfortable silence...I feel the sweat on my forehead.

ME: But the club owner said I'll get paid
HOST: He did?
ME: He said don't leave yet
HOST: Fuck! Let me find out.

He leaves and I try and reclaim my audience unsuccessfully

ME: Now you see how hard we work for our 20 bucks
AUDIENCE MEMBER: They won't pay you?
ME: Well, they will, I just have to work at it
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Ummm....gotta go

Everyone leaves, and the Host returns

HOST: You gotta job right?
ME: Yes
HOST: See I don't, I need the money to pay the rent, you have money
ME: Well, I work part-time, I need to get paid

The host pays me as if I am downright throwing him into homelessness.

All this over 20 dollars in an area where the median home price is now over $600,000. I don't need the 20 (my part-time Corporate job pays very well), but I don't want to give it away for free. Yes I am a whore, a cheap whore, doing it for all of 20 dollars. Later I need a shower.

I got home that night after the show, had a restless sleep, and the next night I was back doing another show. By the time Monday comes, I will have burnt 3 evenings away from the family and then put in a full day at a Corporate job where I have respect, structure, and I get paid without asking. What is wrong with me?